Kicking off the new year was an opportunity to go to India and perform 29 Paintjam speed painting shows for Suzuki motorcycles for an auto expo in Delhi. This is the largest auto expo in the world and as a corporate event entertainer I was pretty stoked about seeing India.
I have always loved Indian food and over the years of working caricature events enjoyed drawing and visiting with the Indian ex pats in Houston. Because of Cindy’s mom schedule, we decided to fly her in at the end of the 7 day show so that we could take a few days after and sightsee. So New Years day after working an event for the Cotton Bowl in Dallas, my tour Manager, James Mackey and I hopped on a plane with 4 suitcases of stage gear and 4 full carry on bags and off we went.
Our first day in Delhi was pretty uneventful. Mostly getting settled and contacting the client and setting up for the shows. The auto show was still being assembled and was utter sawdust-choking-power-tool-noisy chaos. Talk about a labor force. Everyone was busy with one task or another and it looked days away from completion. But by the following morning the frenzied disorder had turned into a very futuristic pavilion and I had my own stage with a greenroom to live in for the next week. We were contracted for four Paintjam speed painting shows per day so we had our work cut out stretching and priming canvas.
Back at the hotel, a stroll in a garden and along the street at a foggy dawn told us that we weren’t in Kansas anymore. The sleepy street soon turned into mad traffic with honking horns and a crazy mix of Tuk Tuk’s, bikes, motorcycles, vendors, pedestrians, dogs and general bustle and chaos.
We then performed for the opening event for Suzuki at a hotel that was one of the most beautiful I have ever been in. The Oberoi, Gurgaon. As my Indian host, Ayush, said when we walked in, “excuse me… WOW!” A modern glass structure that was over the top luxury with modern lines. I have never seen so much chrome and glass in a structure.
I painted a scooter that they were launching in India. “The swish”. Then Bollywood dancers and MTV India and “India’s got talent” divas and stars took the stage. We had a few technical hurdles leading up to the event but James got it all sorted out just in time and I hit the stage like clockwork. A very interesting evening and I was very welcomed by the distributors who all wanted pictures with me. I found my hosts very polite and kind.
The next day was our first Auto Expo day. With traffic, it was about an hour to get in every morning and an hour and a half to get out. For the first show the audience blew me away. What a great crowd! And it only got better as the week went by.
As a performer, it is always nice to have what is known as a “sit down” show performing the same thing over and over day after day. It really helps tweak and improve the show. So often we do one night stands with custom work and it is what it is.
After a few performances, instead of exiting the stage after the show, I went in front of the stage and shook hands. This led to putting handprints with paint on Suzuki brochures. This led to later shows where I autographed brochures, which then got out of hand with the pressing crowds. A cheerful and excited crowd can turn into a pushing mob in a blink. Security had to whisk me away. Then I offered to hug the MC after the shows, he always declined. Then he asked for volunteers and after smearing paint on my shirt I would hug three guests. They LOVED it! I think I am on to something here. The rest of the week, we hugged three guests on stage after each performance, running in slow motion toward each other as the Chariots of fire theme played. It worked, so I have a new routine. Look out world. I am sharing the color and headed your way!
After the shows, totally exhausted, we would go back to the hotel, eat a silent dinner, just eating and staring into space and crash by 7:30 or 8:00. Four shows per day is a lot of adrenaline, noise and work. In the morning before the shows, James and i got out and did some sightseeing.
On day 6, at midnight, Cindy arrived. She enjoyed being at the show as we wrapped up the last day.
At dawn, our driver picked us up and we headed for Agra ( 4 hours away ), then Jaipur (two or three hours from Agra) to sightsee. Hiring a car was very reasonable.
Let me say a word about driving in India. First of all, the stripes on the lanes are merely whimsical suggestions. Nobody stays in them. Ever. Second, proper following distance is about one or two feet behind the other vehicle at 50 mph. The other vehicle could be a bike, motorcycle with a family of four, camel, Tuk Tuk ( called an autocar in India ), herd of pigs, goats, a cow or truck. it doesn’t matter. Follow as close and as fast as you can, squeeze into whatever space there is, cut everybody off at every opportunity and constantly, incessantly, blow your horn. Horn blowing is a courtesy. A safety device, it let’s the other drivers know you are coming through and that there is a madman at the wheel. A good driver blows his horn every few seconds.
Having taught two of my kids how to drive using a parent based drivers ed kit, ( the others took private classes ) And having several of my kids involved in horrifying wrecks, despite a good driving education, riding as a passenger pretty much makes me crazy. I have learned to just accept that I may die at any moment and so I simply tune out with glazed eyes and enjoy the journey as much as I can.
India, as we all know, is a very poor country. And yet has one of the fastest growing middle classes in the world. The bustle is everywhere. As are the contrasts. So you may have a glass skyscraper going up, but in the streets below are vendors, dust, animals, and campfires on the sidewalk. In fact, so many open fires that my main sensory impression of India is the smell of wood smoke. I imagine the American wild west in many respects, and yet with modernity. Cell phones and cars are the rage. Even though the streets and highways were never designed for such traffic.
Another thing we noticed was the absence of women on the streets. We saw them now and again, but the majority of the crowd is male. We can only surmise that the women are at home with the kids and working in factories.
So we pressed on through the countryside to temples, tombs and mountain castles that defy description. Some of the many things we saw wereThe Red Fort, The Old Fort, Jama Masjid, Safdarjang Tomb, Lotus Temple, The Hare Krishna Temple, ( My least favorite, sorry if you are Hare Krishna Built in 1938 and taken over by the Krishna’s. ), India Gate, Jantar Mantar (which is an ancient astrological observatory of epic proportions. Very amazing giant sun dials and marble star charts.) Agra Fort, Qutab Minar, Humayun’s tomb, Sikandra ( Akbar’s tomb) which had roaming Ibex, monkeys and green parrots. Fatepur Sikri, Amber Fort, and of course the amazing beautiful,Taj Mahal. We get around.
Other things we saw included a man on a sidewalk having convulsions while motorcycles whizzed by inches from his head, an overturned micro truck with bananas spilled out in the road, a high sided car in heavy traffic that had driven up on a barrier and had all four wheels off the ground while guys stood around looking at it wondering how to get it down, and lots of people going about the daily business of survival in a very overpopulated place. Of course it is true that you can see many of these sights in Harlem, yet, in India, we always felt safe and comfortable amidst the confusion.
After the tour, the protocol seems to be for the guide to take us shopping at local manufacturing places. We toured a marble inlay factory, were shown four workers out front making things by hand, then were offered tea in a showroom filled with handmade marble inlay tables of various sizes and styles. We caved and bought a beautiful chess set and a small vase. We later saw the same things for sale much cheaper in other shops. Then they showed us a jewelry store, same pitch. Reasonably high prices, not outrageous, not cheap. We declined, although if jewelry is your bag, it may be good stuff for cheap. It is not our thing. The next day it was rugs and textiles. All part of the tour. The guides must have a commission deal worked out. No doubt.
The evening brought us to Jaipur, more tombs, palaces, fortresses and street mayhem. We checked into a very nice 4 star hotel for $80 per night and had yet another Indian meal. I ate so many vegetarian meals that I thought I would come back thinner, but the lack of meat is made up for with butter and cream and fat in the food. I always felt good after a veggie meal and really did not miss the meat. My tour manager, James was not as lucky. He is not physically able to tolerate spicy foods and any inquiry as to whether a particular dish was spicy or not was a subjective opinion, usually by a person who had burned out his spice tolerance filter in childhood. James would order three entree’s and could usually eat one. I had one dish that was basically hot sauce with cornbread grilled kebabs. I have to admit, in addition to it tasting like lava, it did not have a redeeming flavor. Just heat. But I pushed through it. Native Texan.
Jaipur has the sky palace. Really amazing. Home of the Moguls in 12th century. It is walled with a 14 mile structure that resembles the great wall of China. The palaces are perfectly preserved time capsules and extremely interesting. You gain access via an elephant ride, which delighted Cindy. As we rode into the city astride the gigantic beast I sang ” a whole new world” from Aladdin to her. It made us laugh.
A word about the street vendors. Everyone tells you this, but you probably have to learn it for yourself. Don’t buy anything from one if you can help it. The impulse is to want to help them and in return get some cheap souvenirs, however, If you buy, they will simply not leave you alone. They will follow you for hours and will not stop all the while chattering about the price and that their family made these, (not true) . And buying from one will bring in 20 more. James, in exasperation, turned to a crowd of them and said, “I have tried nice, I have tried rude, nothing works. GO AWAY!” Finally he gave one some rupees, and said, “I will give you this money if you promise to make them all go away.” That sort of worked. At one point I told one guy that he was ruining my holiday. He really was. They are that relentless. Also the stuff they sell will be offered at a high price and eventually can be had for 1/4 of the original offer, so there is no integrity to the sale. My guide advised us to tell him if we wanted anything and he would tell us what a fair price would be. We did that in the end. He knew his stuff.
The hard ones to resist are the kids. James decided to buy some potato chips for some kids who were insisting that they were hungry. They were 6 and 7 years old. Soon they were all flocking around him. He ended up buying dozens of bags of chips and handing them out to the crowd. With a roar kids and teens appeared from nowhere and were running across the square and mobbing him. All of them laughing. An adult turned to James and said, “don’t ever do that again!” My guess is that the kids then were selling the chips in the square. The chip vendor was very happy however. You find yourself wanting to help in situations like these but the daily life is so desperate and the problems run so deep that it seems impossible to do anything other than harden your heart and move on. I wish I had the answers.
The last day was spent back in Delhi touring more ruins and monuments. We also toured the capitol streets. Cindy and I had fantastic tandoori for lunch. James found a Domino’s Pizza. From there we flew 9 hours to Amsterdam and took the train into the city to stroll the streets on an 8 hour layover, then flew the other 10 hours home. Whew! it is good to be home for a few weeks, then I am off again but not internationally.
India is an amazing place and I am so glad to have had the opportunity to have made the trip. What Impresses me the most was not the temples and monuments, although they were amazing, but the hearts of the people. Like the snake in this photo, in the end, it was I who was charmed.
I have a few new words in my vocabulary. “Namaste” which is a charming greeting with palms together like a prayer. it literally means ” bow to you”. The other word sums up India, which is “Kya Baat hai” which means “wonderful” an expression of pure joy.
Barry of Kirkwood MO. won a signed, splattered and hand printed giclee print of The Screaming Eagle! worth $99. Barry attended the St. Louis Boy Scout Camporee, 100 years anniversary that Dan Performed at recently.
As Dan Dunn attacks the canvas with strokes, dabs and splashes of paint, he’s teasing his audience as well.
